Two Super Simple Recipes

Wow, this week has seemed to fly by! I have been so busy, I feel like I haven't had time to think. Busy for me probably isn't busy for other people, but I'm already wiped.

I have been attending my church for only about 8 months. I plan to talk more about church, hopefully in my next post. Anyway, my church organizes meal delivery for people who have surgery or babies or whatever. There have been several babies born in the last few months, and several more expected in the next few months. So many babies! So many meals! I try to sign up to take a meal when I can. I feel like there are so many things I'm not able to do, that I want to do what little I can. That's a future post too!

This week, I got to take dinner to a family who just had their 4th baby boy! I got to take a peek at him, and let me tell you, he is a little cutie.

The meal I decided to make was loaded baked potatoes with a yummy slaw. I never remember to pay attention to what the slaw is called, but you buy it at Costco, and it has kale, Brussels sprouts, chicory, probably some cabbage...anyway, it's really good. It comes with pepitas and dried cranberries in it - yum! It also comes with a poppy seed dressing - not yum. Not that I don't like poppy seed dressing, but it has soybean oil in it. Now, as I have said, this is not a health blog, but I believe soybean oil should be avoided like the plague. Not only is soy bad for the hormones, but those vegetable types of oils are extremely high in polyunsaturated fatty acids, which are very inflammatory - not good for anyone, and especially not good when you are sick. I also happen to be allergic to eggs, which are in the dressing of course. So, I always toss that packet and whip up my own. This dressing I make is ridiculously simple and delicious. It would work in any kind of creamy salad, like a coleslaw.

Recipes are difficult for me, because I cook intuitively, so I have to think really hard about measurements. I'll give approximate measurements here, but everything should be to taste. If you are not an intuitive cook, I believe it's a skill everyone can develop. Give it a taste, and change it up however you want!

Simple Creamy Slaw Dressing

1 cup sour cream (I prefer Daisy, because it is delicious, and only has one ingredient - woohoo!)

2 tsp or so Dijon or spicy brown mustard

2 tsp or so red wine vinegar

1 - 2 tsp honey (I've used sugar too, and it tastes fine, just not quite as good)

Large pinch of salt (No table salt, please - I love the taste of Real Salt, or you can use fine sea salt)

Mix it up, taste it, adjust accordingly. Sometimes, I add poppy seeds if I have them, and I love coarse ground black pepper as well.

I hope you will give this a try! It takes less than 5 minutes to make, and is so much tastier and better for you than any store bought dressing! I'm a big fan of simple ingredients.

Speaking of simple, I also took some honey butter roasted peaches for dessert. Easy peasy lemon squeezy summer dessert.

Honey Butter Roasted Peaches

6 peaches, cut in half, and pitted

Butter

Honey

Smear a little butter in the bottom of a baking dish. Place the peach halves inside, cut side up. Place a pat of butter on each one, then drizzle with honey. Bake at 400 degrees for 20 - 30 minutes. Easy right? They would also be delicious with raspberries, though I would think you'd want to only add the raspberries for the last 15 minutes of baking. You could also sprinkle them with cinnamon, or use a vanilla infused honey. I might have to buy some more peaches.

PS - sorry I didn't think to take a picture of the peaches. You can leave a comment anyway.

 

 

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Let's Talk About Acceptance

Typically, I will ramble on about what is foremost in my mind. Lately, it is acceptance. Of myself, and my illness.
In my last post, Longer Intro (don't be jealous of my catchy titles), I shared a little of my story. It was ridiculously hard for me to do, because even after all this time, I have a hard time accepting my situation. I am constantly coming up with new schemes that will make me all better. All. The. Time.
Something happened last week that caused me to have somewhat of a revelation. I know that my obsessive thinking and scheming is not healthy. And there was a time when I was in a much worse place than I am now. The scheming didn't just take up a large chunk of my time. It consumed my life - to the point that my already seriously compromised health was even worse, to the point that I was becoming judgmental about the people around me because they were not health conscious as I was. To the point that I didn't read my Bible - there's no time for that when you are pouring over books and blogs. To the point that I couldn't pray, because I knew I was in sin and I was wrong. I was a wreck. You wouldn't know it by looking at me, but I am way less of a wreck now. But for whatever reason, I have trouble accepting that I'm sick.

So, back to my revelation. I feel like I have been waiting for my life to begin, ever since I got sick. On a side note, every time I think about it, that song from Tangled DOES play in my head. Ahem. I usually tell myself that I obsess and scheme because I want to be healthier, so I can be a better servant. Those are admirable and somewhat true, but the biggest reason, is of course not a good reason, and it is pride. Again. Always. Dear reader, if you (and I) stick with this blog, you will learn what a hideous person I really am. After all these years, I still envision the future me as being a perfectly healthy, strong, independent woman. That is so not likely to happen. Our culture tells us that's bad, but really it's not. I may spend the rest of my life depending on my family - not only financially - and it is okay. They depend on me for things, too. I just need to get that through to myself. I am not a lesser person because of my illness. I pray for God's will in my life. And somehow, I doubt that it is going to cater to my sin of pride.
I still haven't gotten to the revelation. Lately, I have been struggling more than usual. I experience pain that is so terrible, I can't stand up straight. Sometimes when I move, I gasp involuntarily. Sometimes, the best I can do, is make it from my bed to the living room. I have been having balance issues. This past week, I grabbed the cane out of my closet. I used it after I had surgery to help me stand up. I have used it a little bit around the house this week - mostly to help when I stand up, so I don't experience as much searing pain, and a little bit to walk up and down stairs.
I hate that cane. I hate everything it represents, and I hate using it. I like that it helps me, and yet, I hate it more than I can say.
Okay, revelation. Are my scheming and pride holding me back? Instead of waiting for that future me to emerge, should I be accepting my life, as is, right now? If I let go of my pride, and use a cane when I need to, or sit down when I need to when everyone else is standing, or if I begin to be open and honest about my struggles, what might change? (I fool myself a lot here, because I am pretty open with people about the fact that I have health issues. However, I usually don't talk about exactly what they are, or how severe they are.) Here and now, instead of some future time, could I be living more life?
That was the revelation, in case you missed it.

In my mind, ONLY for me, if I use "living aids" as they are sometimes called, to get me through, I am weak. I am embarrassed, because I do not have a visible illness. People will think I'm lazy and faking it. Guess what? People will probably think that. And guess what? It doesn't matter. As a child of the most high God, my job is to glorify Him, and enjoy Him forever. That's the best job description I've ever heard, by the way.

Could I do a better job of taking care of myself? Absolutely. But the reality is that even if I took perfect care of my body, it is still going to be damaged. That is my life. It does not give me an excuse to not try to take care of myself. But if I spent less time hiding the facts about my life and illness, would I be able to do a better job of what God is asking me to do? I want to live my life. I think it is going to mean letting go of my stinky rotten pride. Using help when I need it. How much more will I be able to live, when I stop trying to be too strong? I don't know about you, but I wear myself out all the time. I push and push myself until I crash, and then I'm even more tired and exhausted than usual. And then I miss out. I'm tired of missing out.
Even if you do not struggle with illness, I think we might all have some rotten pride build up we can get rid of, by the grace of God. And probably some things to accept. And if you are reading this and are not experiencing illness, I hope it serves as a reminder to have some grace. You might not know what a person is really going through.
Now I'm going to go brush and brush and brush and brush my hair. Not really. But did you catch that?
Please share and help me gain some readers!

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An Afternoon of Purses and Spoons...

Good afternoon, dear readers, and welcome to today's edition of What's in My Purse? I know, I know, who cares what's in my purse? You do. Just kidding. You probably don't. But here we go anyway.

Actually, I was fighting through the mess of receipts and whatnot in my purse, thinking, I gotta do something about this. Because I use very poor grammar when speaking to myself. I try to keep a fairly organized purse, but it still somehow seems to get out of hand. So, today, I gathered some supplies, and organized as much as I could!

What a boring post. Yes, I agree with you. However, I did think maybe my tips will be useful to someone. You know that whole analogy about spoons and chronic illness? It's called the Spoon Theory written by a lady who has lupus, and I found the story/explanation of it at butyoudontlooksick.com. So, basically everything you do costs a spoon, and you have an unlimited number of spoons, unless you have an illness, in which case you only have a certain number of spoons to get you through a day. If you read the story on the website, it makes more sense than I do. The point is, I feel like there are times when I spend too many spoons on fighting with my purse!

First of all, look at this adorable handbag! It was given to me by a sweet friend from church. I'm in love. If you look to the left there, you can see how the shiny reflects off of the wall. Loooove. And yes, it is huge.

So, I went through my junk and picked out these cosmetic bags that I have, plus I've used a couple of wallets. I have a very eclectic style, and I never worry about whether or not things "go together". If I like it, I'll use it.
I put all of my lip glosses, and my lovely little compact mirror in this little pouch. I feel like when I need to use them, I don't want to have to dig through a bunch of other junk to find the color I want. That little pouch is inside a little pocket in the handbag - it wouldn't make much sense to separate them out and then lose the little pouch.

Isn't this cute? I've had it for years. In fact, I used to use it when I was a teenager for holding those tickets you win at the arcade. Now, it holds all of those annoying savings cards from various stores. I keep the ones I use often in my wallet. It also holds business cards. This is all the way at the bottom of the purse, since I rarely have use for it, but I'm always kicking myself when I visit some obscure store but can't get a discount because I left the card at home!

This is sort of the pharmacy compartment of my bag. I love the see through pouch. This of course contains my essential oils which I use frequently, nail clippers, floss, hand sanitizer (as natural as possible, please), etc. Everything is handy and easy to get to.

Now this little cutie was also given to me by the same sweet friend at church! How fun. As you can see, it holds my gospel tracts. These should also be handy. They used to live at the very bottom of my purse, because they don't get bent and wrinkled down there, but it was hard to get one out quickly. Now they are easily accessible whenever I need them.

See my dog in the background? What a goof. This is my most used little bag, hence the leopard print with pink lining. An important bag ought to be as cute as possible. This contains things like hand lotion, lip balm, and my little pill box - things that are used on a fairly regular basis. That little faux croc pill box has a mirror inside. I became a slightly happier woman the day I bought that - I really love cute things.

Look at this! It's a Spanish style hand fan. You don't even know the times this thing has saved me. I keep it in my purse especially for church. For those with mild heat sensitivity (me), it is wonderful.

This is just a sandwich baggy until I come up with something better. I love ginger Altoids. I deal with chronic nausea and vertigo, so I eat these things alllll the time. And the containers are so fun. Until they get bounced around in your purse and the Altoids turn into powder, then your purse has a dusting of sticky powder on the inside. Not cool. Potentially messy things live in this bag.

This is the last picture. This is my biggest problem. I bought this wallet because it was on clearance, and because I love it. The problem is how little room it has. I took the picture at this weird angle so you can see how thin it is. It holds my important cards, cash, and receipts, although it holds very little. It is also a slippery little booger, and I drop it frequently. And it explodes. I need a new wallet.

I ran out of little pouches, but in was thinking that I should put an empty one in there for things like receipts, hair accessories, little bits of trash, etc. It would be so easy to just clean one little bag out, instead of a whole entire purse. Because I only have so many spoons, don'tcha know.

Do you have any fabulous purse organizing ideas? Let me know!

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Delicious Summer Beverage Recipe

Happy Saturday, my friends! Today, I want to share a recipe I just concocted. It is delicious, if I do say so myself.

I have Celiac disease, and some of us poor slobs who are afflicted by it are unfortunately unable to drink coffee. Apparently, there is a protein in coffee that is similar in structure to the gluten protein. I happen to be one of those poor slobs.

Side note: you know those blogs where the blogger chooses a topic, then does all kinds of research, then writes a very informative post on said topic? I love them. I really do. I learn all kinds of wonderful things. This is not one of those blogs. Whenever I mention something - like the Celiacs and coffee thing - you'll have to find another source for the science of it. I just want to be a source of encouragement.

Another side note: This is not a health blog. I may, occasionally, explore some ideas that may be helpful for chronic disease or general health, but as I told you before, I have a tendency to become obsessed with that stuff. And I have done things in the past that have done more damage to my overall health than good. Again, I want to encourage people. If I write about something that you believe is unhealthy, please adjust accordingly for yourself. Now, onward!

Even back when I could drink coffee, I didn't like that popular place that starts with an "S" and ends in "bucks". I rarely go there. I did end up there a couple of weeks ago, and had a delicious drink, though I can't remember exactly what it was called. Something about a blackberry mojito lemonade thing. Well, this very day, I made a sort of copycat of said drink, and it is more delicious, and cheaper. Win win!

Yet another side note: I have a beautiful camera, but I chose not to use it for this post. I feel I am not nearly as talented as some people I know when it comes to photography, but aside from that, I don't want perfect photos for things like this. More often than not, people with illness don't have time for perfection, and I want my photos to reflect that! So, please forgive my less than ideal photos, as well as my messy kitchen, now and in the future!

Oh, last - maybe last - this is obviously more labor intensive than buying a drink. So, I will tell you, I made the mint syrup yesterday, and my wonderful mother made the tea. Do it in steps - it's okay!

Mintberry Lemonade Green Tea
(Is mintberry a thing? I don't know, but it looks cute to me)
Make the mint simple syrup:
Combine 1 cup water and 1 cup sugar in a saucepan. Add 6 mint tea bags (any kind of mint - I love Bigelow Mint Medley).

Simmer until sugar is completely dissolved. Turn off heat, and allow to steep for at least 20 minutes. You want it super minty.
Here's how we make the tea:
Simmer 3 jasmine green tea and 2 mint tea bags in about 2 cups of water. You can make this as weak or as strong as you like. I like my tea very strong, so I like it a good dark color. Once it is finished, add enough water to make 4 cups of tea total.
Chill the syrup and tea in the fridge. Overnight is best, of course.

Place a few ice cubes in a glass or cup or other such vessel then add:
1/2 oz mint simple syrup
1/2 oz of any flavor berry syrup (the kind they have at those coffee places. Don't use that disgusting stuff you put in milk. Seriously.) I used strawberry, because it's what I have.
2 oz lemonade
4 - 5 oz jasmine mint green tea

Then stir, stir, stir to get it nice and cold!

I don't often like sweet beverages, but this one is so refreshing! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

What do you like to drink in the hot weather? Share in the comments below! And speaking of sharing...don't forget to share my blog!

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Just a Happy Post

I want to be mindful of not being a whiner. Sometimes I feel like when I share my struggles, it seems as though I am complaining. I will apologize in advance, because I'm sure there will be some times when it appears that way.

I don't mean to complain, ever, but I do tend toward being somewhat of an Eeyore, or rather, a Puddleglum. He is my favorite character in the Narnia series. I have read those books many times in my life, but it was just a few years ago that I had the realization...that I am....Puddleglum. His pessimistic, glass half full personality is so much like me, it ends up being a little amusing.

Anyway, the point is, I don't want to be a whiner. I am thankful for every circumstance, every trial, every ache and pain that God sovereignly chooses to place in my life. I used to have a very hard time understanding why I was supposed to be thankful. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to give thanks in everything. The way it was always explained to me is that I should be thankful in spite of my circumstances. Fine. But why does it say "in everything" instead of "in spite of"? It was a conundrum for me. However, I have finally come to understand that God is using every difficult thing in my life to sanctify me. To make me more like Him. What a wonderful peace that gives me, knowing that everything in my life has such a purpose.

Well, this post hasn't really gone where I intended it to! You will get used to that. Sometimes I feel like I have a pinball in my brain. I'll try to get to the point.

This is a post for dog lovers. Or animal lovers in general, I guess. I kind of feel like no matter what your circumstances are, life is hard for everyone, in its own ways. Everybody has things they struggle with, whether they are sick or not. We rely on our gracious God to get us through. The fact that we have His word and the amazing gift of being able to speak with Him any time, any where is pretty incredible, but beyond that He gives us so many blessings. For me, one of the greatest blessings in my life is my little fur babies. I am thankful for them every single day! I love their goofy little personalities, the way they are so playful, and their unconditional love. They bring me so much joy, I truly feel blessed beyond words.

I bet you're picturing some pretty amazing dogs (and a cat). Well, they are. They are also loud and obnoxious, stinky, and rude. They leave hair everywhere and barf on a consistent basis. The other morning, I was happily sleeping away, when suddenly, dogs. Stomping all over my pathetically sore body, licking me all over my face. They are disgustingly happy in the morning. And yet, I am so grateful for those little monsters. There are a lot worse ways to be woken up than by 2 exuberant dogs. Maybe less painful, but certainly less joyful. They might smell like they just crawled out of the dumpster behind a Chinese restaurant, but to me, they are gifts.

Do you have any special pets in your life? Or has God blessed you in another way? Often times what seem like the little things are the big things to people struggling with illness. I love it when I am sick that my sweet dogs are always eager to cuddle with me.

Please remember to share this with friends, and if you have some special little loves in your life, tell me about them in the comments!

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Longer Intro

As I said in my intro, I am in my 30's. I suddenly became very sick at age 23, to the point that I could have died. Without medical intervention, I would have. I was a totally normal, active young woman. I worked full time as a preschool teacher, volunteered extensively at church, had plenty of energy for having fun with friends. This all changed, literally overnight. Actually, I had had a few little hiccups with my health as a teenager, but I & my parents had been assured by several doctors that they were perfectly normal things.

Life as I knew it came crashing down, and it has never been the same since. I spent months being tested for every disease my doctor could think of. I had to quit my job. I hadn't had health insurance even when I was working, so I had to sell my car to help pay my bills. God has given me with a wonderful, supportive family, and they were such a blessing through that dark time. My younger brother helped take care of me, financially, and otherwise.

Finally, after 5 months of terror - I was so young and had no clue what was going on - my doctor put me on a medication that helped mask my symptoms, which was fine with me. I was so sick I didn't care that it didn't address the real problem - I just wanted my life back. My closest friends had abandoned me because they "didn't know how to be around me anymore". Most of all though, I am a prideful sinner. Soooo prideful. I hated depending on others. I want to take care of myself. I couldn't have known that the medication that helped me would cause even more irreparable damage to my health.

Finally, a year and a half after being forced to quit my job, my illness was under control enough for me to go back to work. I continued to work as hard as I could but found it to be more difficult than before as I had lost all of my energy, and I was now in constant, debilitating pain. My life became about going to work, and little else. I had no room emotionally, or physically, for anything else.


Aside from how hard it was, I loved my job. I continued to work for another 5 years, struggling hugely with my health, until it got to a point I couldn't do it any longer. My mom convinced me that she and my dad could help me out for a while until I could get some rest and medical care and get better. I was in need of surgery, and my 4 to 5 doctor appointments per week, plus my full time job, were a burden I could no longer bear. I hated the idea, but I didn't see any other options. Once again, I quit my job, and sold my car to pay my bills.

After nearly 8 months, I was able to have surgery. My naturopath was against it, but I was desperate, and hopeful that it would help. (There is a lot to say about that whole mess, but it will have to be a story for another time!) It did help. But it was not the miracle cure I had hoped for. I had actually been working very part time, and had planned on returning full time after I had recovered from surgery. No such luck. I was so so sick. God's sovereign timing was perfect though. It turned out
being better for my whole family that I did not return to work.

A year later, another crisis in my life led me back to work, yet again. It was the same workplace, but a different position. It was so hard on my body, I cried every single night when I got home. I felt totally broken. At this point, I will just stop and say that I have been a Christian since childhood. I love The Lord - however, I grew up with a lot of poor theology and teaching, and I have often struggled with relying on Him as I should.

I scrounged up the money to go to a new doctor, and to my relief, she confirmed my suspicions, and diagnosed me with 2 different chronic illnesses. I remember crying all the way home because I have spent practically my whole adult life being told that if I would just eat right and exercise and drink water and take vitamins I would feel better. Also another post for another time. Anyway, I did all those things, and I didn't feel better. This doctor explained to me that the illness I developed when I was 23 was much the same as when a person is in a severe car accident, and they never fully heal.
Becoming so sick, so quickly, was a major trauma to my body. Besides that, I was still taking that awful medication. It was still only masking my symptoms, and causing other things to become much worse. She told me to get off of it NOW. In order to do that, I would have to have major surgery. Again, God was at work, and in His perfect timing, I was able to have the surgery 6 months later. I had quit my job again by then - you would think they would be sick of me there, but amazingly, they're not! - God had given my family everything we needed.

That surgery took a lot from me - but The Lord has given me much grace and I have endured it well, only because of Him. Again, it helped me in many ways, but again, just as a victim of severe trauma, I will never be the same.

All that long story (which of course isn't even a quarter of it) was to say that I often feel like I have lost the last 10+ years of my life. I feel like I still ought to be around 25. I believe with everything in me that God's plan is perfect, but I haven't always believed it. It's taken me a long time to get here. He has blessed me more than I could ever say, in spite of my illness, but I can also say, because of my
illness. I can't know why I have suffered as I have, although I have a few ideas about SOME of it, but I do know that He is using it to sanctify me. Praise The Lord for His sovereign care!


More to come, another time! If you have a friend struggling with illness, please share my blog with them!

Intro Post

Hello, & welcome to my blog! My name is Robyn, & I am a 30-something Christian woman suffering from chronic illness.

I struggled with whether or not to reveal what my chronic illnesses are, but I don't want this blog to only cater to a select group. There are many different types of chronic illness - I bet I haven't even heard of a bunch of them - but many of the struggles are similar. My hope is that I can speak to a wide audience.

I am not a writer, I just have a lot to say. My blog posts may cover topics such as chronic illness, Christianity & faith, maybe a little reformed theology, recipes, crafts, fashion....etc etc etc! Pretty much anything & everything that is ever on my mind!

I have spent a lot of years not being honest with myself, and only partially honest with others. I want this blog to be about honesty.

Please always feel free to comment. But please always be kind. Chronically ill people can be broken people. Let's make it a practice to always have something nice to say.